When Sharing Hurts: Real Boundaries in a World of Oversharing

There’s a lot of talk out there right now about healing.

Protect your peace. Cut off toxic people. Set boundaries. Say no.

These things used to sound harsh to me — like pushing people away.

But lately… they’ve helped me find myself again.

They’ve helped me take initiative and do something for myself, like build this blog.

They’ve helped me notice when I’m being pulled into situations that drain me instead of grounding me.

And still, even with all that… some lines are blurry.

When being supportive becomes overwhelming

I was on the phone with a friend recently.

We were talking about some difficult things they were going through.

And then… something unhinged.

They began to pour.

Not just the current struggle — but everything.

Bottled-up emotions, unresolved scenarios, stress-related health concerns, regret —

all of it came tumbling out, fast and unfiltered.

And in that moment, I wanted to be there for them.

Because everyone deserves a friend. A shoulder. Someone to listen.

So I stayed on the call. I listened. I gave everything I could.

But somewhere in the middle, I started to feel heavy.

It was a lot.

I realized that while they were freeing themselves of that weight, I was suddenly carrying it.

And it was the first time I saw them differently —not just hurting, but maybe… a little toxic.

Not because of what they were going through,

but because of how they were handling it.

No openness to solutions. No accountability.

Just years of pressure, finally released — and that energy landed on me.

Emotional dumping vs. emotional sharing

That experience stayed with me.

It made me think more deeply about how we talk — especially in a world where “mental health” language is everywhere.

We say, “Speak your truth,”

but what if it buries someone else?

We say, “Share your story,”

but what if we’re using someone else’s ears as a dumping ground?

There’s a difference between vulnerability and offloading.

There’s a difference between inviting someone into your story,

and surprising them with your storm.

And then… there’s the internet

All of this had me thinking about trauma online, too.

I’ve always been a private person — raised that way.

So even starting this blog was a stretch for me.

But I have thoughts I want to share.

Stories I hope will help someone see something in a new light…or feel a little less alone.

Still, I often find myself asking:

Let’s acknowledge that everyone copes in different ways.

Some people share their stories so others know they’re not alone —

and maybe find their own voice.

Others share just to be heard.

To make what they’ve been through real by speaking it.

Some share to shine light on important topics.

And all of that — done with care — can be healing.

But I’ve also seen people treat trauma like a brand. Like a strategy.

And it’s not okay to perform someone else’s pain for clicks.

That’s damaging.

And it makes me nervous — especially for younger people,

or anyone already in a vulnerable place.

So how do we stay grounded?

Not every situation has a clean answer.

But here’s what I’ve started practicing — maybe it’ll help you too:

• If a conversation suddenly becomes overwhelming, guide it gently.

  Slow the tempo. One subject at a time.

• If it hits you like a wave, go outside. Touch something real. Ground yourself in the present.

• If you feel emotionally hijacked, say:

And if you realize someone consistently leaves you drained —even when they’re not trying to hurt you —it’s okay to create distance.

Small doses. Group settings.

Or sometimes… just space.

A final note on being real

There’s someone I follow — Olima Omega — who makes videos showing the camera behind the camera.

He reveals how emotional TikToks are often staged, exaggerated, or filmed from multiple angles — to look raw and real… but they’re not.

It’s funny — but also eye-opening.

Because it reminds us that even “authentic” content is often carefully crafted.

So let’s talk to each other.

Let’s normalize real talk.

Let’s teach our kids what actual connection looks like.

Let’s hold space — and hold boundaries.

Both can exist.

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